Wooden Spoons

When I worked in radio in rural North Central Kansas, we broadcast a daily sports interview program, and one of the things we did on Fridays during football season was pick winners of five games that were to be played that weekend. There were six or seven of us. We kept standings and everything, even had a end-of-season event where we celebrated the champion.

Something else we did was give the last-place finisher a spatula. The idea was mine, a derivative of the wooden spoon concept that is known in the Australian Football League. All I did was go get one from housewares at the nearby grocery store. I wasn't very good at picking games, so I usually wound up keeping the spatula in my office at work.

It was good, clean fun had by good people. Plus it helped fill an interview slot on Fridays.

So I thought I'd look into the wooden spoon history in the AFL. The side that finishes last on the ladder during the season gets the wooden spoon. It's not a recognized thing by the league, but it's a very common topic of discussion.

The wooden spoon custom apparently has its origins in academia in the late 1700s. Students at the University of Cambridge awarded the 'prize' to whomever got the lowest test scores but still earned a third-class degree. I haven't seen anything about how the concept migrated to Australia. Perhaps it connects to Britain's colonization of Australia which began in 1787.

Last year Essendon won last year's "award," their fifth but their first since 1933. That's impressive, but not as noteworthy as Carlton's wooden spoon drought that saw the Blues stay out of the basement for 105 years, picking up their first one in 2002. The bad thing for them is they've picked up three more since then.

The wooden spoon leaders are St. Kilda, with 27 last-place finishes, with their most recent one coming in 2014.

It looks like five wins is the magic number-- win that many and you should, *should* avoid it, at least nowadays, since the most recent five-win side to finish dead last was Brisbane in 1999. Every team has at least one spoon with the exception of newer clubs Adelaide which joined the AFL in 1990, and Port Adelaide, which began league play in 1997.

It also appears that us Yanks have latched onto the wooden spoon thing, as in Major League Soccer (MLS) the team with the fewest points at the end of the season takes one home. Chicago Fire won the inaugural spoon in 2015.

First Premiers

In doing research a while back I saw that the Essendon Bombers won the first premiership in the league that is now called the AFL, back in 1897. I love this sort of thing, so I thought I'd visit their site to see what sort of history page they had.

First, a brief overview. The team has played over 2400 games total, won 1350 of them, with a winning percentage of over 56%. All these statistics are third behind Collingwood and Carlton in the history of the AFL/VFL.

Anyhow I was looking for more of a year-to-year sort of thing on the Bomber website, similar to what I saw from some of the other clubs. What I did find was a page where each player is listed alphabetically. Not really what I was looking for, but it sure looks like every man who ever played for the Bombers has his own separate listing, which includes games played and a short bio. Very nice.

The Dons even have their own walk-in museum at their training facility in Essendon, which isn't too far from the Melbourne Airport.

The thing that wowed me was this museum is available via virtual tour, here. This is amazing stuff. It's where I learned that the Essendon Football Club was formed in 1872. They saw some success in winning VFA premierships in 1892-93-94 before leaving and joining the Victorian Football League for the 1897 season. There was no Grand Final that year-- Essendon won the premiership by virtue of beating Geelong, Collingwood, and Melbourne in round-robin play to finish 3-0.

screenshot of the Essendon Virtual Museum. A fantastic presentation
of their long and storied history. Great stuff.

The museum has displays of Bomber greats, a celebration of the back-to-back premiership sides of 1984 and 1985, and so much more. There is also homage paid to James Hird, who was a great player and coach for the team. His grandfather and father also have their place in team history.

However, James played a role in a doping scandal that has rocked the team for the last several years, costing him his place in the game. This scandal is part of the reason the 2016 Bombers took home their first wooden spoon (for finishing last on the ladder) since 1933.

However Hird's place in Dons history cannot be denied.

So much to see and absorb, so little time. This virtual museum demonstrates how history should be told, remembered, and celebrated. Well done, Essendon.

The Bombers open season 2017 on March 25 at the MCG against Hawthorn.