Wooden Spoons

When I worked in radio in rural North Central Kansas, we broadcast a daily sports interview program, and one of the things we did on Fridays during football season was pick winners of five games that were to be played that weekend. There were six or seven of us. We kept standings and everything, even had a end-of-season event where we celebrated the champion.

Something else we did was give the last-place finisher a spatula. The idea was mine, a derivative of the wooden spoon concept that is known in the Australian Football League. All I did was go get one from housewares at the nearby grocery store. I wasn't very good at picking games, so I usually wound up keeping the spatula in my office at work.

It was good, clean fun had by good people. Plus it helped fill an interview slot on Fridays.

So I thought I'd look into the wooden spoon history in the AFL. The side that finishes last on the ladder during the season gets the wooden spoon. It's not a recognized thing by the league, but it's a very common topic of discussion.

The wooden spoon custom apparently has its origins in academia in the late 1700s. Students at the University of Cambridge awarded the 'prize' to whomever got the lowest test scores but still earned a third-class degree. I haven't seen anything about how the concept migrated to Australia. Perhaps it connects to Britain's colonization of Australia which began in 1787.

Last year Essendon won last year's "award," their fifth but their first since 1933. That's impressive, but not as noteworthy as Carlton's wooden spoon drought that saw the Blues stay out of the basement for 105 years, picking up their first one in 2002. The bad thing for them is they've picked up three more since then.

The wooden spoon leaders are St. Kilda, with 27 last-place finishes, with their most recent one coming in 2014.

It looks like five wins is the magic number-- win that many and you should, *should* avoid it, at least nowadays, since the most recent five-win side to finish dead last was Brisbane in 1999. Every team has at least one spoon with the exception of newer clubs Adelaide which joined the AFL in 1990, and Port Adelaide, which began league play in 1997.

It also appears that us Yanks have latched onto the wooden spoon thing, as in Major League Soccer (MLS) the team with the fewest points at the end of the season takes one home. Chicago Fire won the inaugural spoon in 2015.

First Premiers

In doing research a while back I saw that the Essendon Bombers won the first premiership in the league that is now called the AFL, back in 1897. I love this sort of thing, so I thought I'd visit their site to see what sort of history page they had.

First, a brief overview. The team has played over 2400 games total, won 1350 of them, with a winning percentage of over 56%. All these statistics are third behind Collingwood and Carlton in the history of the AFL/VFL.

Anyhow I was looking for more of a year-to-year sort of thing on the Bomber website, similar to what I saw from some of the other clubs. What I did find was a page where each player is listed alphabetically. Not really what I was looking for, but it sure looks like every man who ever played for the Bombers has his own separate listing, which includes games played and a short bio. Very nice.

The Dons even have their own walk-in museum at their training facility in Essendon, which isn't too far from the Melbourne Airport.

The thing that wowed me was this museum is available via virtual tour, here. This is amazing stuff. It's where I learned that the Essendon Football Club was formed in 1872. They saw some success in winning VFA premierships in 1892-93-94 before leaving and joining the Victorian Football League for the 1897 season. There was no Grand Final that year-- Essendon won the premiership by virtue of beating Geelong, Collingwood, and Melbourne in round-robin play to finish 3-0.

screenshot of the Essendon Virtual Museum. A fantastic presentation
of their long and storied history. Great stuff.

The museum has displays of Bomber greats, a celebration of the back-to-back premiership sides of 1984 and 1985, and so much more. There is also homage paid to James Hird, who was a great player and coach for the team. His grandfather and father also have their place in team history.

However, James played a role in a doping scandal that has rocked the team for the last several years, costing him his place in the game. This scandal is part of the reason the 2016 Bombers took home their first wooden spoon (for finishing last on the ladder) since 1933.

However Hird's place in Dons history cannot be denied.

So much to see and absorb, so little time. This virtual museum demonstrates how history should be told, remembered, and celebrated. Well done, Essendon.

The Bombers open season 2017 on March 25 at the MCG against Hawthorn.

2017 Fixture and History

We're still a little over two months away from the start of the 2017 AFL home and away season. Just as they did last season, Richmond meets Carlton in the first match to be played. It's always an exciting time, as every team is excited about the future. Richmond tries to rebound after missing the playoffs for the first time since 2012, and Carlton looks to take another step forward after taking some lumps over the last few years.

In 2015 Richmond put together a long winning streak in order to get into the playoffs after a slow start. With a win-loss record of 15-7, the Tigers lost to North Melbourne in an elimination final. Carlton had a rough time of it, sacking coach Mick Malthouse midseason and taking the wooden spoon after finishing in last position on the ladder.

With that as a background, Richmond beat the Blues 92-83 in the 2016 opener. Neither team made the eight last year, as the Tigers slid to 13th on the ladder. The Blues and their new coaching staff started out 5-5 but a nine-game losing streak sent things spiraling out of control. They finished with seven wins, stayed out of the bottom four and finished just behind the Tigers in 14th position.

The history of these two sides goes way back. The Tigers began play in the Tasmanian Football League in 1879 and joined the VFA (Victorian Football Association) in 1885. Carlton was a founding member of the VFA in 1864 and jumped to the newly-formed Victorian Football League in 1897, while Richmond joined the VFL in 1908. This may help explain why the Blues have played other teams more often than they've played Richmond.

Carlton has played five other teams more often than the 216 matchups with the Tigers while Richmond has played the Blues more than any other opponent in the competition. Carlton leads the all-time series 125-89-2, so this really seems like an interesting tilt to get the season going.

A cursory look back at the last few years sees that the AFL doesn't seem to place a priority on two particular sides playing every season opener. Collingwood/Fremantle started 2014 and Adelaide met Essendon in 2013. However this is the third straight time Blues/Tigers has had the honors.

2010 Grand Final

St. Kilda and Collingwood met twice during the 2010 home-and-away season. The Saints won a round 3 matchup way back in April, and the Magpies took the round 16 rematch three months later.

Collingwood won the minor premiership and were the #1 seed as a result of having the best win-loss record during the season, while St. Kilda finished third on the ladder. They would meet in what would normally be the last game of the season, and then they'd do it again.

The 2010 Grand Final between the two sides was a riveting affair, the Pies clinging to a one-point lead with under 2:00 to play and the Saints knocking on the door, bringing every ounce of desperation they had.

Saint Lenny Hayes kicked from just outside the forward 50-meter line, hoping to find a friendly face near the sticks. Not having the distance, the ball caromed away from teammate Stephen Milne and through for a behind, tying the game at 68. Had the ball bounced into Milne's hands (he'd gotten away from his defender), he had an open kick at goal from point-blank range that would've given the underdog Saints a five-point margin late in the match.

Instead that's where the scoring ended. Hayes won the 2010 Norm Smith Medal as the best on ground.

This match became the third of its kind in AFL history. In the other two, Melbourne beat Essendon in 1948 and North Melbourne defeated Collingwood in the rematch of the 1977 Grand Final.

The exhaustion...

and the stunned disbelief of both sides following a drawn Grand Final.

It's fascinating to watch the closing moments as the siren presided over drawn teams. The feeling is surreal at the MCG-- all the energy just completely left the building, replaced with a feeling of bewilderment at having to process a tie.

The sting must have been a little sharper for St. Kilda because they squandered a fourth quarter lead and lost the 2009 Grand Final to the Geelong Cats.

Instead the Saints and Pies went through more preparation and somehow tried to get their minds and bodies ready to play another match on the biggest stage of them all.

What's amazing about this is the overtime rules were in effect for all other finals matches, and were actually implemented in 1994 (North Melbourne over Hawthorn) and in the 2007 playoffs when Collingwood defeated West Coast.

Those games were settled with two five-minute extra periods, with sudden death in case scores are still level.

I compare this to America and the feeling that would be out there if the Super Bowl was still tied and everyone went home. It wouldn't happen of course because of how the rules are set up, but what if the Packers and Patriots were told to come back next week? Disbelief and outrage, correct?

So earlier this year the AFL amended their bylaws so that the Grand Final would also go to the two five-minute extra periods. I feel like this should have been done sooner, but part of the reasoning is that they seemed to like the possibility of having a tie. It makes sense, since they get to have another 100,000 fans buy tickets. Another stated reason is travel, as a non-Victorian side may have a disadvantage of added plane rides.

As for the 2010 Grand Final replay, Collingwood held St. Kilda to one first-half goal and won by 56 points. It marked their 15th (and most recent) Premiership. Scott Pendlebury for the Magpies won the Norm Smith Medal.

Centimetre Perfect

TV commentator Dennis Cometti retired from calling AFL games at the close of the 2016 season. 

He's been a staple of Australian sports TV as well as Australian Rules Football telecasts for a long, long time. He was on the air for 17 Grand Finals, and had the mic as the siren sounded on the Western Bulldogs' first league title in 62 years at the end of the 2016 season. He broadcast his first game in 1971 and began his A-list TV career in 1986. 

His partnership with Bruce McAvaney is also the stuff of legend. They go back and forth seamlessly during a telecast. One knows when to jump in when the other stops, many times during the run of play. The Sydney/Western Bulldogs Grand Final was their 12th together.

Cometti also covered Olympic swimming in 1992, 1996, and 2000. He's delivered some signature moments at special times to generations of Australian sports fans, many of whom are the athletes themselves. 

There is a generation of AFL fans who don't know what the game is like without him. His past experience as a player and a coach added a lot of insight, and he started his on-air career in the early 70s when players didn't become on-air personalities like they do now.

As a new watcher of the game I sure found his high baritone voice helpful as he explained things more deeply. I know I always paid attention to what he said-- as much for how he said as for what he said. Centimetre perfect is one of his many signature one-liners. 

He's not completely stepping away from the game, just the travel. The man is 67 years old and says that part of things takes some of the fun out of it. I totally understand that, as it happens stateside a lot, especially in baseball when there is six months of travel involved. More veteran announcers will skip a road trip here and there to save some wear and tear on their bodies. 

Cometti says he'll sit in on some WAFL (Western Australia) broadcasts as a way of staying involved, perhaps injecting some commentary here and there. Perth is his hometown, so it makes a lot of sense since the league is based there. I guess once something is as much a part of you as footy is to Dennis, quitting cold turkey just doesn't make sense. I can't imagine he'll be too involved-- my thought is that he won't want to be the center of attention and to give others the same chance he got. 

Besides, the WAFL is where it all began for him, so this is a way of bringing it full circle.

The man sure has the respect of his peers and of his public.

Cheers, Dennis. And thanks.

Australian Football

I was born and raised in El Paso, in far West Texas. Not quite the end of the world, but you can see it from there.

El Paso is home of the Sun Bowl, home stadium of my favorite team on the planet, the UTEP Miners. I grew up watching bad football and great basketball seemingly every season. That changed in the late 1980s when current Athletic Director Bob Stull became the head football coach prior to the 1986 campaign. The good guys went 4-7, then 7-4 in 1987. 1988 was a great year, as the Miners won 10 games and actually made it to a postseason bowl game.

But at 1-10, 1985 was another lost season for UTEP football. The one highlight was a 23-16 upset win at home over BYU. Head Coach Bill Yung got sacked during the season. The Miners actually played the final game of the '85 schedule in Australia against the Wyoming Cowboys, who had already fired Head Coach Al Kincaid.

The game was played at VFL Park (now Waverley Park, training grounds for Hawthorn) in Mulgrave, Victoria, a suburb of Melbourne. 19,107 curious Australians came out to watch the game, and to watch the Miners give up a two-touchdown lead and fall to the Cowboys 23-21.

I was reminded of this game because California and Hawaii played in Sydney at the start of this current college football season. It was actually the first college game played this season. The Bears beat the Rainbows 51-31 on August 27, 2016 at ANZ Stadium, formerly Olympic Stadium. It's weird since the Sydney Swans closed the 2016 home-and-away season 11 miles away at the SCG with a 164-51 home win over Richmond in a match that started maybe an hour after the Cal/UH game ended.

I just find it interesting that the Swans gave up a home game for the college event. However it seems logical that some sort of agreement was reached to balance the books, since Sydney played to a house of 36,000 vs. 61,000+ at ANZ.

Elsewhere...

The 2017 AFL fixture is out. Something I found interesting is that Gold Coast and Port Adelaide play their round 8 tilt at Jiangwan Stadium in Shanghai, China on May 14.

American Championships

Two weekends ago, the United States Australian Rules Football league held their national championships in Sarasota and Bradenton, Florida on October 15 and 16. Streamed live on YouTube, it was different watching games being played in what looked like rec fields on a university campus. Watching cars go by and everything, instead of crowds of 40,000+ at a major metropolitan oval where people are trying to sell me watches and insurance.

But it was still fun to watch. Obviously the skill level is different, since these are men and women with day jobs who are committing a lot of time to footy. 36 teams were separated by divisions and then again into pools. The side nearest me, the Atlanta Kookaburras, went 2-1 in pool play, beating teams from Denver and Tulsa, but losing to a squad from Des Moines. They ran six ovals (one for the women) for most of Saturday the 15th and part of Sunday the 16th, with the finals played in the afternoon on Sunday.

The Portland Sockeyes defeated Montreal to win the women's premiership, and congrats to the Division 4 men's champions Ohio Valley and to D3 champs Portland who beat North Carolina. The Division 2 premiers are from Calgary (also home of my favorite hockey team).

The Division 1 winners are the Austin Crows, for whom Nolan Cox plays. Nolan is the brother of Mason Cox, the Collingwood big man of whom we have spoken here. Austin is tied to the Adelaide Crows, and the big club even gave them a shout out on their web site.

What really weirded me out about that is that Mason the Magpie made it onto an opponent's web site:

Collingwood player Mason Cox, left, with his brother Nolan who plays
for the USAFL team in Austin, Texas. Picture taken from the Adelaide Crows site.

Play on!